So I was about to comment this on Mr. Mitchell's blog, and then I realized it was basically the length of one of my blog posts, so I am just going to put it here:
I think the reason that it is so hard to pin down when we come of age is because we always grow more. I remember being in Kindergarten and just being totally in awe of the huge 2nd graders. By the time I entered 2nd grade, I could not even imagine ever being as big, mature, or smart as a 5th grader. By the time I entered 5th grade, I think that I realized 5th graders were not very intimidating after all, and that I would always be looking up to someone or some group of people. I have become very used to this, and accepting of it, and I can now fathom reaching stages in my life that seem unfathomable (if that makes any sense). I think at this point, I can totally picture myself going to college, and I can even picture myself getting a job teaching or whatever after college and grad school--but those images are all very blurry and I am sure very mistaken. The one thing that I can not imagine at all is paying my inevitable college debt. For whatever reason, that seems like the one thing that is unfathomable for me to be adult enough to manage. At this point, I have realized that I will eventually be able to do this, but I think that it illustrates our perpetual development. I think that we all realize that we will be forever growing and learning more and developing more, and this understanding makes it hard to imagine ever fully "coming of age", because we are always coming of age. When I was in 2nd grade, I thought that there was me (a kid), there were 5th graders (big kids) and then there was everyone else (adults). Everyone older than a 5th grader was in my mind fully developed as a person.
Part of what is making Portrait so interesting for me is that I see different stages of my own life being played out by Stephen, and I see myself right now reflected sometimes as well (which makes me feel a little silly about myself to be honest). I also expect to see stages of Stephen's development that I have not yet gone through, which should be interesting. But I am coming to understand that coming of age is a continuous process, and, while often painful, the many stages of our development are necessary in forming who we are now, just as who we are now (which at least in my case will probably be embarrassing to think about in 5 years) is a crucial stage in getting to where we will be in 5 years, and in 10 years, and in 40 years.
In the first writing prompt we wrote for this class, I wrote, "I feel like I have come of age", but reflecting, I feel like that is pretentious and untrue. Of course I haven't come of age. I still have so much growing to do! I'm sure that I'll still feel this way in several years as well.
ReplyDeleteCollege debt is indeed a sobering measure of the alleged "real world" encroaching after college--if college postpones coming of age in some sense (it's often talked about in this way, as a kind of extension of adolescence), then facing the prospect of dealing with a daunting debt represents that rude awakening, "grown-up" problems.
ReplyDeleteI guess this doesn't really relate to the literature so much, but in 2D art class we've been talking about our generation and ideals/behavior/likes and dislikes that seem to be common amongst the "millennials." One thing that we read was that people in our generation tend to accept the idea of life-long debt, mostly from college loans and stuff like that, so I really appreciate and am inspired by your optimism.
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere (but some quick Googling yields no results) that children physically cannot think ahead. A five year old can think ahead like three months, but no more, and a twelve-year old can think ahead nine months. These numbers aren't perfect but there is a physical aspect of your brain maturing that lets you plan ahead, and kids literally can't do that and have to think short term.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a time I was in sixth grade and very perturbed about the idea of going to college, away from everything I knew, after talking to some high school students. I told myself not to worry--with six years remaining, that was close enough to an infinite amount of time that I would never grow up.
DeleteI think the phenomenon that you described where you can now imagine pretty much any stage of your life was a really big part of the coming of age I've done so far. I think it signifies an identification with adults to some extent. They're no longer these great, all powerful beings (an important and sobering discovery) so I can kind of imagine doing what they do, even if its just as impossible for me to actually do it in my current state.
ReplyDeleteYou know Tim, it's interesting that you would post this, because I have gone through similar stages in relation to being friends with you. When you were that tiny second-grader, I remember being an even smaller first grader. We weren't really friends, and I think it is a testament to our own maturity that we are friends despite being a year apart.
ReplyDeleteI agree, but I also think that when you were in 1st grade, I was like one sixth of your age older than you, which is a huge age difference at that age. Now, when our age difference is a much smaller percentage of our ages, it seems less outlandish for us to be friends.. Although obviously the vast amount of maturity we both have obviously has a lot to do with it as well.
DeleteThis blog post is great, and I can COMPLETEY relate to what you're saying. As a child I looked up to the 5th grades, the 8th graders, and now the seniors. I also at some point in my life, feared each one of these groups. But now, as I get older I realize that there will always be people I look up to and things that I'm afraid of doing (like going to college) and so, like you said, we'll always be growing and learning more things which is why I think it would be hard to pinpoint when we "come of age". I agree with your whole post and I really enjoyed reading someone who has the same feelings as I do about this subject
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