Lee

After our discussion in class, I thought that I would write a bit about my feelings about Lee as a character, because they are very jumbled. Throughout the book, I have been sort of off put by Lee. I have felt bad for him, because he has wanted to fit in and to be a part of history so badly, but has failed every time. I felt this very strongly when he went to Russia, and kept on mentioning how he knew Stalin's real name, and he knew the Russian words for this and that. It seemed to me like he was trying to prove to himself that he was meant to be in Russia, and that he would fit in. He obviously did not fit in or thrive in Russia, but for a while he told himself that he would. I found that aspect of Lee's character very sad, and it made me pity him, and like him a little more. The same is true more recently, with the shooting of JFK. Lee has been telling himself that this is what he is meant to do, and this is how he will join history. He repeats to himself the many coincidences pointing to his and JFK being connected, as if trying to convince himself that they are. And then when he finally does shoot JFK, his projection of reality turns out to be completely fictional. What Lee sees as the culminating point in his life is sort of a let down. He misses his shots, shoots the governor, who he says would probably like him, and then finally learns that he has been set up. I can just see his perception of the world crashing down around him, and I am moved by that. I am also impressed by how calm he stays given what he has just discovered. Not only has he shot two people, but he has uncovered this plot of which he is an unknowing participant. And yet he stays relatively calm. He doesn't shoot the first cop he sees, he goes home, and he walks to the theater. He realizes he has not options other to go along with the plotters, and they are planning to kill him heartlessly in the dark. He is feeling so many emotions, as he always is, and that is for me moving and makes me like him. He has put so much meaning on the Kennedy assassination for him personally, and Raymo, who does kill Kennedy, sees it as a necessity, but not very meaningful. I find it sad that Lee attaches so many emotions to so much, and is played by people who show very few emotions. This makes me connect to Lee more, and like him more as a character, despite his attempted assassination of the president.